Relational communication scholars have assumed that participant discourse formulates human relationships, but little attention has been given to the mutual interaction of conversational structures and relational pragmatics. This study presents a model of relational influence attempts (RIAs) in dating and marital couples’ conversations, giving particular insight into the role tacit relational knowledge plays in shaping talk. RIAs are conversational influence attempts (CIAs) of relational import. While RIAs often are organized around requests and other request‐relevant discourse found in CIAs (e.g., pre‐requests, hints, and prompts), these influence attempts pertain to relational assertions. The assertive adjacency pair, declaration of love—reciprocation of love, formulates the prototypical speech act analyzed in this study. Variations in this conventional pair are given to support the claim that knowledge of relational pragmatics is required to make sense of conversational influence attempts.
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